gothchick666's Blog
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9/30/08 0 Commentshappy fairy
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9/28/08 1 Commentstill confused
well i still haven't been able to figure out why i've been so depressed lately and its really starting to tick me off because i cant find a reason for this feeling. i just sit here and do almost nothing. i've been writing song lyrics or drawing or something like that but i still haven't found the answer in what i've been doing. for instance if i'm depressed like i am now then i would normally sit and write song lyrics or more of the book i'm trying to write of even sketch a couple of things and i would find out why i was feeling the way i was but that didn't happen this time and i don't no why. i normally have other feelings like i've been able to tell when someone dies or when someone is born and i haven't felt anything like that. when ever i need to drink i can taste it i can taste the blood in my mouth and i haven't felt the need to drink lately either. if been really bitchy and moody and i've yelled at people because they didn't listen or because something didn't go my way. i almost took off my substitutes head with a metal ruler when i threw it at her in my shop because her voice was killing my ears and i was hearing like 50 different sounds at once.then she just let me make deliveries all day so she didn't have to deal with me. which was a good thing cause i didn't have to deal with her. i also almost took off one of my best friends' heads because she wouldn't get her annoying as hell freshmen boyfriend to leave me the hell alone when he kept talking to me while i was trying to make sense of my surroundings. come to thnk of it i almost took off his head 2 for almost the same reason it was just he wouldn't get away from me and then my friend wouldn't get him away from me. so far my life has been pretty good but its a little on the shitty side and i dont know why. maybe i'll figure it out maybe not . who knows.
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9/28/08 0 Commentsdragons and mythical creatures
this is just a couple mythical creatures that i like and happen to study along with vampires seeing as i am one but i didn't feel like going on for hours telling you about all the others it would take to long nevertheless i hope you like the pics there will be more to come -
9/22/08 0 Commentsconfused
when i get up and look in the mirror i see a girl who has and gets every thing that she wants but yet is still not happy. the face that i see staring back at me is a face that shows pain, sorrow, darkness,and death. the face that stares back at me is a face that should show only the emotion of happiness, and yet it shows these emotions that would point to depression. i want to be happy it just wont go that way. i get my heart broken so many times and it doesn't break like just cracking down the middle, it shatters to the point where it takes years to fix and become whole again. but you no that somewhere your heart isn't completely whole that's why you feel empty for the longest time. then you finally figure out that you're still missing that one special piece that could fix your heart completely and you never find it either that or you do and it slips away just as quickly as you found it. then things that you dont expect to happen, happen and then you get hurt even more so that your heart breaks again and again and again until theres nothing left to break. then you get left a very depressed, cold hearted individual that denies all human contact to the point of complete isolation and you start to turn into a wild animal. then finally someone comes along that has that pieces that you need to fix your broken heart and your so far gone that you dont even acknowledge that they exist. then they walk away and you never see them again and you stay this lonely cold hearted person for the rest of your life. its not fun being lonely. the cold-heartedness comes in handy when peole get on your nerves you can scare them but then again it makes people not wanna be friends with you too. this is the dilemma that i have had for my entire life. i was made fun of in elementary school and in middle school until i started being a bitch then people started leaving me alone and the fact that i beat the hell out of them helped a little too but they still had to bug the hell out of me and now in high school nobody really makes fun of me they just piss me off so much to the point that i wanna kill them but i hold my self back. then some of those people start to stop pissing me off and they talk to me like a normal person and i start to like them then they say that they like me to and then they screw with my head until they break my heart again and then i go back into isolation. so many people screw with my head i dont no whats what anymore I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE SCREWING WITH MY HEAD!!!!!!
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8/23/08 4 Commentslove sucks
people say that love is the most wonderful feeling that you could ever possibly feel. they say that when you're in love you do things that you normally wouldn't do like sneak out to see them, or spend the night with them or what ever. in my opinion love sucks. reason being that i loved this one guy and he didn't love me back. then i was in love with this other guy and he said that he loved me too but now i'm not so sure because my mom makes me do crap round the house and if i don't she takes my cell phone. well that's what she did. i couldn't talk to him for about a week, well he didn't no that and he decided to go and start talking to some other girl and now he wont talk to me now he basically ignores me every time i try to talk to him. i've left him text after text and he wont answer and i guess i should just stop sending him messages because that says that im desperate i guess so i guess i will and hope that i can find someone else. if anyone that reads this has any advice feel free to tell me. bye!
